Erma Bombeck said...

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.


Happy Mother's Day!